so much has changed...

no not really. ssdd. why havent i updated this thing in forever? because no one reads it. or if someone does, they already know whats goin on bc i prolly just talked to them. friday night, 2am, and where am i? sitting at home typing a blog no one's gonna read. yep, that's a pretty good picture of my life. so there ya go. blog updated. i could prolly copy this and just paste it in once a month for the next 5 yrs and it would still be right on target. soooo pimperish...

:-\

sometimes, i'll here a song and it'll make me feel good for a minute, until i realize it's not about me. does that make me conceited? self centered? i think it does... but no matter. life is funny like that. you can be fully aware of something and not be able to do a damn thing about it. *shrugs* so i have these good things going on, and then some bad things that make me mad because i cant fully enjoy the good things. i may or may not have an awesome new job, but i dont know yet. but im pretty sure i got it. and ive had some fun times with my friends lately. which is cool. the relationship thing, not os good. i feel like i was losing too much of myself, so im trying to get back to me. but i dont know if the relationship is gonna make it through that, because a lot of it was based on things that im now changing. like me being ok with certain things that im really not. but we'll see. i dont think anyone reads this anymore. but im gonna write anywyas cuz it makes me feel better.

last in line...

i have officially lost all Christmas spirit. the holidays suck, work sucks, people suck, and i just want to go to sleep til 2005. as of 12:00am january 1st, 2005, i am done doing stuff for any reason other than it's what i want. BAH HUMBUG.

Merry freakin Christmas...

so it's been a long time. what's new? still trying to get a new job. wondering when i can start school again. i just found out i'm still being lied to about stupid stuff that shouldn't matter, but i'm bothered that it's still going on. it's a principle thing... it's another late night, and i'm trying to avoid thinking about going to work today. it's not that bad really, the holiday craziness. i'm just so fed up with bein the last to get what i want. at some point even i get tired of being the scapegoat for all the problems with our store. but it's whatever. makin that money (however little it is). i'm gonna miss Christmas with my gamily again this year because we're sooo short staffed, but i'm still trying to figure out how that's my fault. all i have to look forward to right now is new year's and the hope that i'll have a good time. at this point i almost don't care where i am, just as long as it's not sitting in my house watching tv. i'm on my diet again. i'm trying to be as hardcore about it as i was this summer but it's hard with all this stress because food is my cocaine. so we'll see how it goes... anyways, i think that's it for now. i don't have the energy for anythign too in depth. if anyone still reads this thing, take care :-)

so what's up...

ok so it's been a month. what's new you ask? aaaaaabsolutely nothing. i still work retail (and lemme tell ya, it still sucks). holiday season is coming up, and if it weren't for all the pretty things we're getting in i'd be downright homicidal by now. i still hate people, but i've discovered if you imagine them standing in front of a brick wall with a raging bull headed towards them, it's kinda funny. anyways, i'm tryin to get all my Christmas shopping done so i don't have to shop with all the crazy people. i also want something to do for halloween, but that's in a week so i don't think it's gonna happen. i'm looking for new year's plans, too. who knows? maybe i'll party like it's 1999 :-) ummmm... losing some weight but not enough. still short. still cranky. still don't feel like doin' shit. and my finger hurts. so that's all for now. luv yuz...